Three nuns die in a car crash. They go up to heaven and, when they meet St. Peter at the gates, he explains that, before they can come in, they’ll each have to answer a question.“But”, he says “don’t worry, the questions are very easy.”So he asks one of the nuns what was the name of the first woman and she says “Eve”.“Yep”, he says, “that’s it, in you go.”So he asks the next nun where Eve lived and she says “The Garden of Eden”.“Yep”, he says, “that’s it, in you go.”Then he turns to the third nun. “Seeing as you’re a Mother Superior”, he says, “I’m going to make the question a little bit more difficult.”So he asks the Mother Superior what Eve said when she first saw Adam. “Oooh, that’s a hard one” said the Mother Superior.  “Yep”, he says, “that’s it, in you go.”

Three nuns die in a car crash. They go up to heaven and, when they meet St. Peter at the gates, he explains that, before they can come in, they’ll each have to answer a question.

“But”, he says “don’t worry, the questions are very easy.”

So he asks one of the nuns what was the name of the first woman and she says “Eve”.

“Yep”, he says, “that’s it, in you go.”

So he asks the next nun where Eve lived and she says “The Garden of Eden”.

“Yep”, he says, “that’s it, in you go.”

Then he turns to the third nun. “Seeing as you’re a Mother Superior”, he says, “I’m going to make the question a little bit more difficult.”

So he asks the Mother Superior what Eve said when she first saw Adam. “Oooh, that’s a hard one” said the Mother Superior. “Yep”, he says, “that’s it, in you go.”

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

Q.   What’s the difference between a run over dog and a run over lawyer?A.   The dog has skid marks before it

Q. What’s the difference between a run over dog and a run over lawyer?

A. The dog has skid marks before it

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done for free.

How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done for free.

Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill.Who gets it?The old drunk, of course, the other three are mythological creatures.

Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill.

Who gets it?

The old drunk, of course, the other three are mythological creatures.

A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl’s grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, “Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?” “Of course not, dear.” replied the mother, “Why would you think that?” “The tombstone back there said ‘Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.’”

A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl’s grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, “Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?” “Of course not, dear.” replied the mother, “Why would you think that?” “The tombstone back there said ‘Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.’”

Q:  How many artists does it take to change a light bulb?A:   Ten. One to change it, and nine to reassure him about how good it looks.

Q: How many artists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Ten. One to change it, and nine to reassure him about how good it looks.

A fool-proof method for sculpting an elephant: get a huge block of marble, then chip away everything that doesn’t look like an elephant.

A fool-proof method for sculpting an elephant: get a huge block of marble, then chip away everything that doesn’t look like an elephant.